While I'm still living that east coast life on my business trip, I have another guest blogger here in my place. Ali of The Drawing Mannequin has one of my favorite blogs to read, hands down. In addition to being beautiful and statuesque, and having impeccable and creative style, Ali is of the funniest writers I know. I always get a kick out of reading her posts, and I feel like I'm living life beside her, which is what I secretly wish were happening. Enjoy her post, and give her blog a warm hug for me!
Hello, friends! My name is Ali. I'm from the long-lost land of The Drawing Mannequin and I'll be acting as a substitute for our dear Elana while she is away
performing discreet secret agent tasks that will save the country of Poland from a mole
infestation erm, I mean, er, uh business trip.
Hope I didn't blow your cover there, lady.
This morning I was walking my dog, a sporty German Wire-haired Pointer named Gunner who has too much energy for his own good, when I heard some vigorous pecking in the distance. I continued to stroll through the streets of my neighborhood when my dog's ears suddenly perked up; he darted his head up, around, and behind him in search of the source of the sound. In search of the source of the sound.
Search source sound. Ssssssssss. That is a lot of "s" action going on. Sssssss. I'm a snake.
As we trudged forward, the pecking began again; I glanced up to my left and saw a bright red woodpecker with a black head that looked like a sock was pulled over it: it was clearly on a villainous mission here. This malicious bird was drilling away at our neighbor's roof as if millions of chocolate Dove bars were beyond it.
Suddenly from within the house, a clatter erupted; a faint shadow dashed quickly by the shutterless windows. There was banging on one window, a woman working to rid her house of this most obnoxious pecking beast. She stopped to listen. The pecking persisted. She banged again, listened again. The pecking continued, and I imagined her clenching her fists in frustration. I heard her march up the stairs, and her concrete clomps were followed by some lighter footsteps; the whole family must have joined forces to rid their home of this infuriating woodpecker.
There was quiet again, which I had learned by now was the cue for the woodpecker to MAKE.
Which it did. But not in a pleasing way that resembled a Bach-esuqe orchestra, just an annoying way. And with that, the members of the household flipped their shit, beating the windows like they were in prison and shouting once they had figured out the corner which the woodpecker resided.
The woodpecker flapped away quietly on speckled black and white wings. The clanging within the house subsided like the quiet in the center of a hurricane.
The woodpecker immediately landed on the house next door and began to peck, peck, peck...
Top: JC Penny, eons ago
Poofball hair accessory: Amazon
Heels: Chelsea Crew (similar)
Rose earrings: Charming Charlie